I didn’t know it at the time but when I started my journey into software development, my life was pretty easy. I went to work during the day, then studied during my free time. Watching YT tutorials and building hobby projects.

Then when I started working as a developer, I’d do more of the same. Work all day, come home and watch videos about design patterns and best practices. Improving my skills. I’d be thinking about my code base all the time, solutions would come to me while out walking, in the middle of the night or any other time.

Then my son was born and my free time and priorities obviously changed. Now another thing I didn’t know at the time; babies are quite easy really, I would still be coding in the evenings and learning new skills. Just with a baby sleeping on me.

Now he is older and I have a beautiful baby girl too. So I pretty much never think about work outside of work, I haven’t watched a coding tutorial video for over a year. I don’t know what the trending library or framework is.

When I am out on a walk, I don’t think about how to code a new system or how to optimise my code. I think about my kids and their future. I ponder stuff like how can I be a good dad, ensure I have a career for long enough to get them to adulthood and how can I also keep healthy and make time for my own hobbies at the same time.

Then last year my dad took his own life… so now whenever I have a moment alone with my thoughts, I tend to wonder if I could have said or done anything different that would have changed things, and if he might still be here now.

So yes, I am a less productive employee now and that is another thing that is on my mind in those quiet moments. Which is why I am writing it down now.

When I was young my heroes were footballers like Michael Owen and Alan Shearer, rock stars and celebrities.

Now my heroes are everyday people who have the weight of the world on their shoulders, those caring for children and other dependants, people who have lost loved ones and keep going. Even though sometimes they may not feel like it.